The City was elated, the markets abated, Maharaj Rishi of Furlough, CBDC MBE, Earl of Track-n-Trace, Duke of Schwab & Lockdown Philanthropist had become Leader of the Conservative Farty, future Prime Monster of the DisUnited Kingdom (DUK).
Here, Rishi talks about CBDC’s in that eloquent and disarming way Kindergarten Teachers talk to their pupils:
Vikid wasn’t surprised. The plot for Downsyndrome Street, was a long time hatching. Ex-Monster Boris Johns-Un had been sent sweeping in to detract any momentum from Lady Penny of Mourning. We couldn’t have another show like Baroness Truss. This play had to have the right ending, without any fuss.
The Conservatives would fracture before the next election leaving open space for the gallant Sir Keir Stammer, with shining armor, to come marching in. However no one was worried if he was sitting in the wings, as the “Leader of the Opposition”, he was possibly the only person in the realm capable of not winning in such a situation.
The Novel Societal Disease (SocDis-16) had been first discovered in 2016, Year of Brekshit. At first it was thought the disease had been caused by the unclean consumption of British Bulldog Batties at the Notting Hill Beastival. But later most people believed the original conspiracies, that the disease was actually created in Wustminster (Wumin Labs) in conjunction with a shadowy cabal of vixens, The Build Back Better Babes (BBBB).
Six years had passed and after many attempts of failed inoculation, half the population had got Long SocDis-16. There had been many whistleblower testimonies claiming that it was the medicine itself, a new technology (socially Modified Media Reactionaise - sMMR), that was actually causing the disease.
However the Authorities didn’t believe it, they mandated more and more of it. People were forced to comply or forfeit their holidays. Naturally, after a few heartfelt emoji-protests they complied.
SocDis was a strange kind of disease. It’s primary symptom being what was called “Cause Blindness”.
People affected by it would have short term memories and could focus only on symptoms and not primary causes.
For example, prices were rising in the Kingdom, a mechanism known as inphalatio-n. The cost of heating was becoming astronomical but people were blaming a leader in a distant land, named Rasimyr Rasputin, rather than Maharaj Rishi who had printed incredibly large sums of money, shutdown the economy and put massive sanctions on a vital source of energy.
But they couldn’t see causes, only symptoms as a result of Long SocDis-16.
The disease had mutated. Originally, it only effected their sense of Sovereignty. They felt little in Ingland and wanted to part of something bigger, a chair at the table of Ursula Wonder Crazy’s Ewuropean Onion (EO).
Wonder Crazy had also shut down her economy and every viable form of energy production, based on the ideas a of girl who liked to skip school, Kreta of Tunaberg. It was a Climate Emergency.
Now, with such bold leadership, the continent was was going to freeze in the winter and was free falling faster than the DUK. Yet, SocDis-16 had such a blinding effect that people were cheering for more of this strategy. They wanted to rejoin the EO to solve their problems!
The Prime Monster of DUK would probably double down cause he loved another equally effective idea called Net F’in Zero (NFZ).
NFZ was really clever because you would ban normal cars and replace them with electrics. Electrics were really cool, no emissions just hassles. The fact the DUK didn’t have enough power stations (or sun or wind) was just a minor inconvenience. If you couldn’t afford it then you would just have to work it out, to stay at home banging pots and pans to “Save the Something Or the Other (SOS)”.
None of this mattered to anyone suffering with Long SocDis-16 or any of the new variants. The latest one being the Double Unmutated Moronicon Subvariant (DUMS).
DUMS made its victims really quite docile. They couldn’t remember, they wouldn’t see causes, now they were docile too.
All they could do is watch the Rings of Power-cuts, a show based on Diversity & Inclusion, written by the DUK’s most famous author JRR Jokin’.
The BBBB were happy they had completed the coup. Within a week Rishi would meet the new King (a fellow NFZ enthusiast), to seal the deal.
Then all would be complete.
A rhyme chimed in Vikid’s head,
Net F’in Zero
CBDC
All praise Rishi
And just watch TV
Vikid smiled again. He had a wild imagination.
As fast as he was slaying these monsters, they were faster raising.
This was the True Uncensored Story of SocDis-16.
And that’s,
The story of how Obama colluded with the British MI6 to overthrow the Presidency is about the break out. That’s why all this nonsense is happening. There’s your reason. Now what happens next to keep you distracted from the main event?
As long as there are psychopaths, there will always be willing and able puppets.